ooh

In which you skip this because other people's drama is exhausting

I want to write this, but I don't want anyone to feel compelled to read it, so here, have some cut tags!

Collapse )

Collapse )

Collapse )

Collapse )

I'm thinking of getting therapy just to have someone to talk to about all the stress. The good thing (honest, I see it as a good thing) is that most of the stress is basically external to me -- my days are generally easy and pleasant, and everyone who's not me may be melting down, but all my stress is in the way of a contact low, as it were. Other than being in a sandwich-generation holding pattern (when will the next phase of my life begin? no one knows), things are pretty good. I'm making more money than I ever have, I love my work, I get lots of downtime to read and hang out with James and mom, and my health is better than it's been in years. So yeah, if the universe could just leave my loved ones in peace, that'd be great.

This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth (DW). I welcome comments here or at the original post, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. If you don't have a DW account, you can post using your LJ name as an OpenID account, or feel free to comment anonymously and I'll unscreen.
  • Current Music
    "She Used To Be Mine" earworm
  • Tags
ooh

You don't have to attend every fight you're invited to

My week has been stressful. They called Thursday and offered me the half-time job. They needed to know that day -- we haven't heard back on the lucrative job James has applied for, so I declined, citing the fact that I'm the only breadwinner and James hasn't heard back about the job he was waiting to hear from (I didn't mention to the HR person that it's a job at my same employer, because it's probably not her fault they're lagging on his job, and I'm not an asshole). She wanted to know when I'd know, and I said, "Well, I was supposed to know two weeks ago, so I mean, soon, I hope, but no guarantees."

She called me back an hour later and offered to give me a week to decide (because they actually don't want the other two people who interviewed, is my surmise), so yeah, rollercoaster day on Thursday.

And then a student's mom called and cussed me out for like half an hour. I don't take that stuff personally, but it does wear on me. My co-workers marvelled over and over about how calm I stayed, and I said (and I meant it), "She was frustrated. That's understandable. And I don't have to attend every fight I'm invited to," which became a theme for the week.

My mom got in a fracas with another member of her senior center, and I shared my week's theme with her. I think she felt a little chastised, but she also seemed to latch onto the theme as a potential sanity saver.

And then today at the donut shop, I accidentally passed up another person who was waiting to pay (because I followed the person who gave me our donuts to the register and didn't notice the other person who was standing away from the registers at the window. She berated me for many minutes about how rude I was, and how I should give a bitch some space, and how in America, we call this White Privilege, and and and... I just apologized, didn't engage beyond that, (felt frankly detached and mildly amused -- not sure what that says about me) and then once she'd left, the cashier apologized to me for the customer.

Me: "Nah, she's not wrong. I didn't see her, but I did cut in front of her."

I mean, I don't like being yelled at, or having people behave in ways that I perceive as rude towards me, but I'm not gonna fault someone for standing up for their space when I've violated it, so long as they're not hitting me or something. Not a fight I need to get into; not a hill I'm gonna die on.

So yeah, stressful week for many reasons, but not something that's gonna ruin my Saturday, which will now be completed by spending many many many hours writing and catching up on webcomics.

And how are YOU, dear ones?

This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth (DW). I welcome comments here or at the original post, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. If you don't have a DW account, you can post using your LJ name as an OpenID account, or feel free to comment anonymously and I'll unscreen.
  • Current Music
    silence
ooh

CN: Food

Collapse )

This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth (DW). I welcome comments here or at the original post, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. If you don't have a DW account, you can post using your LJ name as an OpenID account, or feel free to comment anonymously and I'll unscreen.
ooh

Facing finances

Part of how I got out of debt last time was to be frank with myself and others about my finances. For the first 10 years we were together, James and I had zero debt, and it took some pushing past shame to admit we'd accumulated $10K+ in consumer debt, but admitting it was the first step to eliminate it. This time, the debt is even higher (but it was important, she says with some shame, to fix our teeth and our car, and and and...) but it's not any different: the key to getting rid of it for me is facing it. Well, facing it and having a plan.

Facing it, having a plan, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.

Another thing I have to face is that I can't afford to go part-time yet. Not until either James gets the job he applied for or I get more editing work. I'm a little sad about that, but it's okay -- I can do this for a year while we knock out debt, and then I can decide what to do after that happens. When we don't have debt, we have SO MUCH FREEDOM. I just need to keep that in mind.

In completely other news, I don't get a "Least Complicated" earworm often, in day-to-day life, but something about getting to the "Music" box on the DW posting page brings it to mind; it's my most frequent "Music" entry, and it seems to just be a conditioned response to seeing the input box. Weird.

This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth (DW). I welcome comments here or at the original post, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. If you don't have a DW account, you can post using your LJ name as an OpenID account, or feel free to comment anonymously and I'll unscreen.
ooh

Work stuff

Today, I will be interviewing for a half-time job: the hourly wage is a fair bit higher than what I'm currently making at my day job, but the hours are 20 a week versus 40. It has benefits, though, and it would free up my time to write, and to take more editing gigs. I enjoy the editing, I'm good at it, and it pays well, so this could be the best of both worlds.

I have to give a presentation as part of the interview, and I'm just printing out handouts for that in case their projector doesn't work. I don't have any fear of public speaking, but I confess I'd rather have an interview without this component, or hey, no interview at all.

Into the breach!

This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth (DW). I welcome comments here or at the original post, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. If you don't have a DW account, you can post using your LJ name as an OpenID account, or feel free to comment anonymously and I'll unscreen.
ooh

Post-tember?

I desire to get back in the habit of posting regularly here, so I will post every day in September and see if that helps. This blog (if you count its beginning on my 35th birthday, just after 9/11, as a LiveJournal) is the oldest internet "belonging" I have, except for my email address. I don't want to lose it through neglect.

Today, I will report that in August, I paid off 1.20% of our consumer debt, and I expect that to snowball as we pay off the higher-interest stuff. I will report in once a month.

This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth (DW). I welcome comments here or at the original post, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. If you don't have a DW account, you can post using your LJ name as an OpenID account, or feel free to comment anonymously and I'll unscreen.
ooh

Wednesday Media Consumption thingy

I didn't get the job. I don't really mind. Changing jobs is stressful.

This post has some spoilers for The Hate U Give and Lincoln in the Bardo.

Collapse )

Collapse )

Collapse )

Collapse )

This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth (DW). I welcome comments here or at the original post, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. If you don't have a DW account, you can post using your LJ name as an OpenID account, or feel free to comment anonymously and I'll unscreen.
ooh

Writing update

In the past week, I:

Wrote 5K+ words (not as much as I wished, but I did a lot of editing)

Finished 3 stories

Submitted 3 stories and 4 poems

Wrote almost every day (not today so far)

Worked on organizing my writing, including putting old on-paper-only writing into my electronic documents

This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth (DW). I welcome comments here or at the original post, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. If you don't have a DW account, you can post using your LJ name as an OpenID account, or feel free to comment anonymously and I'll unscreen.
ooh

Oh, judges...

...keep looking out for us. Dear, darling judges, keep keeping the law and the Constitution in the front of your minds. Keep being unbowed by the tyrant. Please keep fighting for us.

Thank you.

This entry was originally posted on Dreamwidth (DW). I welcome comments here or at the original post, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. If you don't have a DW account, you can post using your LJ name as an OpenID account, or feel free to comment anonymously and I'll unscreen.